If you are a middle-aged person (or just a connoisseur of good music), you may be aware of a song titled "Bittersweet" by Big Head Todd and the Monsters. I loved this band back in the day and I particularly loved this song. I would belt the lyrics to the chorus from the top of my lungs whenever it came on. "It's bittersweet. More sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet. It's a bittersweet surrender." I didn't realize the wisdom of these words at the time, but have come to realize that they describe most of life's experiences. But not only that, as the song indicates, it is necessary to surrender to both sides of the bittersweet feeling in order to live a full beautiful life. I had the opportunity to really explore this topic during the past week as the universe bombarded me with examples of how the bitter and sweet of life play out. My week started with a phone call from Taylor, my youngest, who will be graduating from college in May. She was expressing her feelings about being ready to be done with college and move on to the next phase of her life, but she also felt sad about leaving college behind and wondering if she had fully taken advantage of the experience. I told her that her such a mixture of feelings is quite normal whenever we experience a transition in our life. But do we really ever stop to think about the duality of what we are feeling? The mixture of happy and sad feelings is unsettling. If we feel sad about leaving something behind, we may question if we are genuinely happy about what is coming next. This is uncomfortable so we generally just ignore the sad and focus on the happy. The second bittersweet message came to me at a yoga class the following day when the instructor advised that the mantra for the class was "It is like this AND also like this." She was talking about paying attention to how our bodies were feeling in particular poses and note that a pose can feel challenging to one part of our body, but also be relaxing and calming to another part. Again, a juxtaposition of two distinctly different feelings at the same moment. But she also told us that this experience of competing feelings is something we also face in life and we need to learn to observe, acknowledge and embrace all the feelings that arise within us in order to learn and grow from a situation. The final universal nudge came when I was doing my walking meditation and listening to my favorite podcaster Brene Brown's Unlocking Us. Her episode this week featured Susan Cain who is an author and researcher who recently wrote a book entitled Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole. During the interview Ms. Cain explained that bittersweetness is a state of longing, poignancy, and sorrow, an acute awareness of passing time; paired with a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world. It recognizes that light and dark, birth and death, bitter and sweet, are forever paired. She found that when we are confronted with experiences that have both a bitter and sweet element, we have two choices: Push away and ignore the bitterness, but doing this will most likely cause us to unconsciously inflict or transfer the bitterness to others; OR Accept that pain and joy, or bitter and sweet, go together and experience and feel them both in order to have a whole-hearted life. When there is pain that you can't get rid of, she recommends transforming it to something else as a creative or healing offering to others. Some do this by writing music, creating art, or writing poetry of sad stories. Taking Ms. Cain's advice, this particular blog is my effort to take some of difficult feelings I have experienced lately and create a healing offering. Perhaps my journey exploring bittersweet feelings will offer support or solace to someone going through their own challenging times. You are not alone in your struggles and should not feel guilty when you feel pain or sorrow in the midst of an otherwise joyous experience. It is a part of life's journey. One thing that became obvious to me in thinking about all of these messages I received this week, is that I am guilty of trying to avoid the bitterness and pain that should be a part of my life experience. Even though I think I am emotionally in touch, I frequently try to rush through the difficult parts. For instance, my instinct when my daughters share bittersweet feelings with me is to jump in and make it better. I focus on the positive feelings and while I acknowledge the validity of the sadness, I definitely downplay the negative side of the situation. I believe this is the tendency most people have as experiencing sad feelings is uncomfortable and generally seen as something to be avoided at all costs. This brushing past the hard part is Standard Operating Procedure in handling my own feelings as well. I do not ignore or suppress the difficult feelings, but I definitely try to expedite the handling of them. (Pro tip: This is not possible-it will take as long as it takes. Learned this the hard way!) During the past year, I have tried to rush and force my way through the emotional processing of my divorce and get to a point of being "OK". I frequently told people I was "fine" (which my therapist said really stands for "Fucked Up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional"...pretty accurate.) I thought if I acknowledged that I still felt pain or sorrow that would mean I wasn't over it and wasn't moving on properly. To be honest, I really did feel "fine" most times, but then something small would trigger a large emotional response clearly indicating that the pain and sadness had not been fully acknowledged and released. I now see that this "toxic positivity" is not helpful nor is it beneficial to really experiencing joy. In this increasingly binary world, we feel like we need to identify and put a label on each situation as "happy", "sad", "exciting", "frustrating", etc. Often times experiences do not lend themselves to such an easy description. We do not have to feel one way to the exclusion of the other. We do not have to be absent of pain or sadness in order to feel happy. As my yoga teacher said "It is like this AND also like this." Moving forward, I will embrace experiencing bittersweet emotions. Getting divorced obviously involves many sad feelings. Loss of an important person in your life, loss of the future you had planned, disruption to the family unit and extended family relationships that have been built over the years, painful memories of past good times, new difficult situations, and a destruction of the foundation you had built your life on. However, these sad feelings do not take away from the many positive feelings that I have as well. I have created a new vision of my life that I am excited about, I have met many new people I would never have known if my life had continued on the same path, I have experienced tremendous self growth and empowerment and have reconnected with the inner spark I had lost along the way. I love the part-time job I have selling jewelry in my retirement. I learned that I am good at selling and actually really enjoy accessorizing with jewelry. My life now has freedom to consider possibilities that were closed to me before. Will I move back to San Diego to live my later years by the ocean and in the incredible weather I enjoyed when I was in law school? Maybe! Or will I return to my childhood home of Colorado? Perhaps! I am the captain of this ship and can steer it whichever way I feel inspired to go and that is joyful and exciting. But for the time being, the sad feelings still co-exist with the happy ones. And that's ok. It is my belief that the joy in our bittersweet moments cannot be fully appreciated unless we also encourage and allow the sad feelings in to provide the context. It is only by realizing and acknowledging what we have lost or what we are letting go of (a period of life, a moment, a person, an experience), that we can be truly free to enjoy what comes next. Embracing bittersweet feelings also encourages us to fully grab the joy in the current moment because we understand that these precious moments are fleeting and they too will pass on our way to new experiences. All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. -Anatole France

Recently I was hanging out with a group of women celebrating National Margarita Day (who knew it was even a thing?). Once we were a few flavored margaritas deep, we began discussing the trials and tribulations of being modern day women at approximately the mid point in our life journey. Otherwise known as middle age. We all had very different life situations, but one thing was clear. We had all spent a majority of our life taking care of other people. We all agreed that we took on this responsibility willingly and with joy. The pride with which we caretake was evident in the passion and depth of emotion we showed when talking about the important people in our lives. The problem with this primary focus on making sure others in our life are properly taken care of, is that we are often last on the list. We run out of steam and time before we have a chance to turn the spotlight on ourselves. Again, most of us don't begrudge this choice and it is just part of being a "mom" and a "wife". However, we all eventually reach a point where the chaos quiets and we are left standing alone with ourselves. This can happen at any time for any number of reasons. All the kids finally leave home. You get divorced or are widowed. You retire or are laid off. A serious medical diagnosis. Or, as in my case, many of these things happen within a short period of time. When life throws you a curveball or the rug is unexpectedly ripped out from under you, it can be overwhelming. After taking time to absorb the shock and feel ALL of the emotions of the experience you are having, it is the perfect time to begin your journey to self discovery. This journey is necessary to rediscover who you really are after all this time, what things truly bring joy to your life, and what kind of life you want to live from this point forward. This journey to self discovery is not for the faint-hearted. It will take some real soul-searching and honest reflection. It may require some difficult decisions. It may necessitate some changes in the way you live your life or the people in it. I began this journey in earnest about a year ago when my marriage of almost 25 years ended. When the future I had planned was no longer a possibility, I had to do some heavy lifting to figure out who I was and what I wanted. I was no longer someone's wife. I was no longer a hands-on, day-to-day mom. I was no longer part of a cohesive family unit. I was no longer a corporate lawyer. Without these labels and these roles, who really was I? I thought back about the person I was before I got married. That person was an individual in her own right with her own distinct dreams and plans. She had an energy about her and an enthusiasm about life that had somehow dimmed along the way. I decided I needed to get back to that person taking along with me the life lessons I had learned over the years. The combination of that energy and enthusiasm with the wisdom I had acquired would be a very powerful one indeed. I am by no means done with my self discovery journey and I honestly believe that it should be one that continues for a lifetime. But I can provide you with some tips that have led me to the happier place I am now. You can use this travel guide whenever you decide to take that journey to your own self-discovery. WHAT TO PACK: Courage-You are going to need courage to take an honest look at yourself and your life and make an assessment of what should stay and what should go. Some changes may be hard if you have really put yourself on the back burner and need to get your mental and physical health back on track. Maybe you haven't set proper boundaries with people in your life and establishing those new limits will be difficult to impose and difficult for others to accept. But it is time to dig deep for that courage and make the changes necessary to rediscover yourself and what is important to you. Vulnerability-This journey will also require you to be vulnerable. Take a close look at mistakes you have made along the way and take responsibility for the role you have played in straying away from your authentic self and the difficulties you have faced. Compassion-After you have done an honest self-assessment, make sure you have compassion for yourself. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and choices along the way. You did the best you could at the time. As Maya Angelou said "When you know better, you do better." Also, have compassion for the people that have hurt you. This doesn't mean you have to allow them to continue hurting you or that you have to accept their behavior, but understand that everyone is just doing the best they can. There may be reasons you aren't aware of that causes someone to make a choice you don't understand. Curiosity-You will need to bring a healthy dose of curiosity on this journey. Spend time really thinking about the things that bring you happiness. What were you doing and who were you with when you think back to times you really felt joyful. What are those things that you have always wanted to do, but were too busy or they seemed impractical. Learn to play an instrument, plan a trip, join a tennis league, volunteer for a cause that is important to you, write a book? Maybe start a blog? :) Also, what kind of lifestyle do you want to lead going forward? What activities and hobbies do you want to incorporate into your everyday life. What about your surroundings? Do they reflect your truest self? Are you happy in the suburbs or do you want a more city vibe? I decided to move from a traditional house in the suburbs to an apartment in Saratoga Springs where I can walk everywhere and there is always something going on. I didn't realize how much I wanted this lifestyle until I actually did it. It brings me great joy. Excitement-This is the most important thing to bring with you. This journey of self discovery is exciting. You will uncover new truths and reveal things about yourself that you may have forgotten. Perhaps your introspection will confirm that you are on the right track with where you are and feel grateful and peaceful with that knowledge. If you discover that the way you are currently living is not in alignment with your authentic self, this is great news! Knowledge is the first step in making changes. You can dig deeper to figure out exactly what changes you want to make and start taking action to create a more fulfilling life. THINGS TO DO TO FIND THAT INNER VOICE Walking-Walking and listening to podcasts is literally one of my favorite things to do and brings me great peace. I go for walks with some of my best friends: Brene Brown (Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead), Glennon Doyle (We Can Do Hard Things) and Oprah Winfrey (Super Soul). These women provide great insight into things that block our happiness and teach us how to become unblocked. Even when I think a podcast isn't going to be particularly interesting or relevant to me, I am always surprised to gain some new knowledge or a different way of thinking about something going on in my life. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my walks and podcasts! Meditation/Journaling-I started a practice of meditating 15 minutes every morning when I wake up. I read the daily entry from Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie and then turn on meditation music and a timer. Focusing on my breath and thinking about the message from the book starts my day in a positive way. I have noticed that my general mood is calmer after starting this meditation practice. Some days I am able to completely relax and zone out, other days I have to constantly push thoughts away. But it is a "practice" that I will keep working on. I honestly don't journal as much as I should, but I can say that when I do it really helps to get all my thoughts out of my head and onto paper. It clarifies things and often helps me to make sense of some of my emotions. I should definitely do this more and it is always recommended as a helpful practice in self discovery so I included it in the travel guide. Yoga-When I do yoga on a consistent basis I am always amazed at the impact it has on my life. My muscles are less tense, my flexibility is good and I feel great! This exercise impacts both mind and body so you get a double whammy! If you notice, the first three things to do all involve some level of stillness or inward focus. It is necessary to quiet the mind of all the useless (and often negative) chatter to hear that soft inner voice that has all the answers for us. Once you start paying attention to it, you will notice that it nudges you when something feels off or not right. If we are not still or quiet enough to pay attention, it gets lost in the chaos. Self Care-For me this is something that definitely got neglected. I have discovered how amazing it feels to really take care of myself. For me this not only means getting exercise (my walking and yoga, as well as a little strength training), but also taking the time to nurture my physical self. If it fits into your budget, getting periodic massages and getting your nails done are small things that reap great rewards. Even if your finances don't allow for those things at the moment, doing self care things for yourself shows that you are worthy of that time and attention. You feel better about yourself when you have taken the time to give yourself the nurturing and care you provide others. I have what I call Self-Care Sunday when I do a face mask, hair mask, slather on some extra lotion and put on my coziest sweatpants and read a good book or watch a show I enjoy. It is rejuvenating and re-energizing after all that self-discovery work. Therapy-I cannot overstate the importance of being able to talk to a neutral third party that can provide fresh insight or lead you down your path of self discovery. Talking to my therapist I have discovered things that were impacting my choices and decisions that I wasn't even aware of. Having this insight or knowing where you may have some work to do to clear up some feelings is invaluable in getting to your authentic and wholehearted self. THINGS YOU CAN SKIP ON THIS JOURNEY Self Pity-It is very easy to get stuck feeling sorry for yourself when things don't go as planned or someone disappoints you. However, in order to find your joy, you cannot stay in this place. The one constant in everyone's life is change so you have to realize that these things happen. If the pandemic has taught us anything it is that we truly don't have any control over things so we just need to go along for the ride. When something happens that disrupts our life, we need to Shake It Off (in the words of Taylor Swift) and look at it as a directional pointing us toward a better path. Negative Energy-When bad things happen, which is usually why we set off on this journey of self-discovery, it is easy to become pessimistic and focus on everything that went off track or how people did us wrong. There is some benefit to spending a little time in this space to learn the lesson it can provide and to make different choices the next time. Once you have made that assessment, it is time to move forward and pull out that curiosity and excitement you packed to bring on this journey. Positive attracts positive. A good mood and good energy will bring good things into your life. This also applies to the people you surround yourself with. Make sure those closest to you are supportive of this journey of self discovery and are encouraging of your efforts to find joy. Numbing-As hard as some of this self-reflection is, it may be tempting to numb any hard emotions you are having with busyness, excessive activities, alcohol/drugs, sex, shopping, or any other things that distract you from your feelings. Not feeling those uncomfortable feelings will inhibit the growth that comes from dealing with the truth of what you are discovering. Numbing is only temporary and can actually cause more heartache and disruption in the long run. Dating Apps-If your journey to self discovery finds you traveling solo, take the time to learn to be by yourself. You may think getting back out there and finding someone to fill your time with will make you feel better. It might temporarily, but it can be just another form of numbing. It is important to focus on yourself during this journey so you don't get confused by the voice of someone else when you are trying to figure out what YOU want. This journey takes a lot of time and energy and you will be a more attractive partner when you are finally in your own power and living your most authentic life. You will also attract someone who is aligned with your discovered (or re-discovered values) and that will lead to a stronger more authentic connection. Looking back at the past year, I realize that I was in no place to put myself out there and use my energy to get to know someone else until just recently. I am finally at a place where the thought of possibly meeting someone new is interesting, but I am also so enlightened by my journey that I don't NEED it. That feels like the best place to be for me. By following this travel guide in my own journey to self-discovery, I have learned many things about myself. I am feeling empowered by my independence and am happy with the choices I have made after really thinking about what I want this second half of my life to look like. It has been painful, difficult, eye-opening, humbling, joyful, exciting, unexpected and adventurous. I still don't have a complete picture of where this journey will take me, but I know for certain I am heading in the right direction. As the famous quote from Wizard of Oz says, I have always had the power, but I just had to figure that out for myself!

A drive along the California coast on Highway 1, known as the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH), is an awe-inspiring journey that everyone should do at least once! The PCH runs from San Diego all the way to Washington State, but if you don't have time to do the whole thing you will still be amazed by the views of any portion you choose to do. One of the most famous sections of the PCH is the part between San Francisco and Los Angeles. Along this route you can see the famous Big Sur area and cruise through a number of awesome California coastal towns. This is the journey my friend and I took on a recent girls' trip to California. I will give you our itinerary as a starting point, but you can easily add many more stops or spend more time in some of the areas if you have the time. You can also eliminate some of our diversions if you don't have a full10 days or if you want to make it all the way down to San Diego on your epic California coastal journey. Day One-San Francisco You can view my previous post on our whirlwind day in San Francisco here. This is definitely a place where you can add more time if you have it. If not, use our plan to see as much of San Francisco as you can in ONE day! Days Two and Three-Napa and Sonoma Valley This was actually one of my favorite parts of the trip! View my previous blog post about my magical experience in California Wine Country here. Napa and Sonoma Valley aren't actually on the coast, but we wanted to make sure we could spend some time wine tasting before heading down the PCH and we are so glad we did! Day Four-Half Moon Bay, Santa Cruz and the 17 Mile Drive from Monterey to Carmel-by-the-Sea My friend and I are extreme planners, but on this trip we decided to go outside our comfort zone and try to "wing it" with hotels after we left Sonoma Valley. This new approach didn't last long once we tried to find accommodations along the coast in the summertime, especially during the post-COVID vacation boom. We couldn't find anywhere along our planned coastal journey to stay on Saturday night, so we grabbed the only room we could find in Emeryville located across the Bay from San Francisco by Berkeley. Even though it wasn't exactly on our agenda, it was a very nice hotel and gave us a comfortable place to rejuvenate after all the wine-tasting of the previous two days. Half Moon Bay: We got up early the next day and headed back over to the coast to hop on the PCH down to Half Moon Bay. I always think of the band Train when hear about Half Moon Bay and if you are a Train fan you know what I mean. We stopped at the well-known Barbara's Fish Trap ( www.barbarasfishtrap.com ) for an early lunch. I am not a big seafood fan, but the crab cakes were delicious! TRAVELER TIP: Bring cash because they don't accept credit cards and go early because a long line will form and there aren't a ton of tables. We also saw long lines at Sam's Chowderhouse down the road, so if you can't get into Barbara's Fish Trap for your seafood fix this looks like a good alternative. After lunch we drove down the coast to Waddell State Beach to watch all of the surfers and kite surfers. If I was younger and more adventurous I would definitely try kite surfing because it looks awesome! Santa Cruz: From Half Moon Bay we drove south on the PCH to Santa Cruz. Santa Cruz is a cute little beach town with a boardwalk and some beautiful cliffside walkways to take in the surrounding scenery. We parked on the street near the Natural Bridges State Beach and then walked along the West Cliff Drive scenic pathway that hugs the coastline. The pathway provides breathtaking views of Monterey Bay. If you want, you can walk the pathway all the way to the Santa Cruz wharf. It is generally flat so it is a very easy walk for everyone and you can go for as long (or as short) as you want. We didn't visit the wharf while we were there because it was a Saturday and it was extremely crowded, but it looked like a fun place! The Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park (http://www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=546 ) is also in Santa Cruz and is a great place to see California Redwoods. There is a vehicle day use fee of $10, with discounts for seniors and larger fees for tour buses. The Park is nestled in the Santa Cruz mountains and has 15 miles of hiking and biking trails. There is an easy walking loop that takes you through a grove of old-growth Redwood trees with the tallest tree towering 285 into the air and measuring 16 feet wide! The oldest trees in the grove are 1,800 years old. 17 Mile Drive from Monterey to Carmel-by-the-Sea: Heading south on the PCH, you will find an entrance to the beautiful 17-Mile scenic drive from Monterey to Carmel-by-the-Sea. There are three other entrances so depending on where you are coming from another entrance may be more easily accessible. There is a $10.75 fee per vehicle to enter the 17-Mile drive and once you enter you will follow a map through several points of interest, forested areas, coastline views, beautiful mansions, and famous golf courses including the world-renowned Pebble Beach golf course. Depending on how long you linger at the various points of interest or scenic overlooks, the drive could take up to 3 hours. If you are heading south on the 17-Mile scenic drive you will end up right at Carmel-by-the-Sea which is where we planned to stay for the next three nights. Day 5-Carmel-by-the-Sea, Point Lobos State Natural Reserve, Monterey and Big Sur As I mentioned above, our well-intentioned plan of "winging it" on our California road trip didn't work so well. So much for us trying to be more relaxed about our travel planning! When we discovered that we were going to have trouble finding reasonably priced hotel rooms along our route, we got right to work planning out our accommodations for the rest of our journey. We decided to stay in Carmel-by-the-Sea for three nights as it was centrally located to many of the sites we wanted to see. It was actually kind of nice to have a home base for a few days and not have to pack up and move every morning. I guess Ann and I are not the relaxed, "go with the flow" travelers we had hoped to be! But it all worked out in the end and the moral of the story is that we are going to continue with our natural state of being super planners. Point Lobos State Natural Reserve: We started our day with a beautiful six mile hike at the Point Lobos State Natural Reserve. The Reserve is just a mile or so south of Carmel right off the PCH. You can see my more detailed blog about visiting this "Crown Jewel" of the California State Park System here. Carmel-by-the-Sea: After our hike, we stopped in downtown Carmel for some lunch and shopping. There are several excellent restaurants in downtown Carmel, it just depends on what you are in the mood for. We ate at the Mission Bistro (https://missionbistrocarmel.com ) right in the middle of the downtown area. I had a Burrata Salad with grilled chicken that really hit the spot after our morning hike! The shopping in downtown Carmel is equally as satisfying with many exclusive shops and boutiques to find whatever you may be looking for or discover that thing that you didn't even know you needed! Monterey: Next we drove north on the PCH back to Monterey to check out some of its highlights, including spots made famous by HBO's hit show "Big Little Lies". We drove through Cannery Row, a cute little shopping area in the area's old cannery buildings. It looks like there are mostly touristy shops in Cannery Row as opposed to the boutique shopping in the downtown Carmel area. After cruising through Cannery Row, we set off to scope out the various location shots from Big Little Lies. First stop was the Fisherman's Wharf in Monterey (not to be confused with the giant tourist attraction Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco). There we ate at Palace Trattoria which served as the set for Blue Blue's Cafe, the quaint coffee shop overlooking the harbor where the main characters met to drink coffee and spill tea. Apparently the restaurant has been mobbed with BLL fans since the show aired so they can sit at an outside table and share their own gossip. Of course Ann and I had to do the same and get a picture! Next stop was to Lover's Point Beach in Pacific Grove where we learned that the Blissful Drip coffee shop from BLL didn't actually exist but was a set constructed at the Lover's Point Beach. The set is long gone, but we snagged a picture at the Beach anyway. The final BLL location to scout was the Bixby Creek Bridge in Big Sur so we headed south on the PCH to check it out. Big Sur: From watching Big Little Lies, I was under the impression that Big Sur referred to a beach town along the California coast. While there is a small unincorporated village with a collection of small roadside businesses and homes called Big Sur, when you hear someone talking about Big Sur they are most likely referring to the rugged stretch of California coast between Carmel and San Simeon. It is bordered to the east by the Santa Lucia Mountains and the west by the Pacific Ocean. You travel through the area by the narrow 2-lane PCH. Hold on as you take sharp turns, veer toward seaside cliffs and try to take in the spectacular views of the coastline. It is not for the faint-hearted...just ask Ann who got very nervous as I drove the winding road. It is totally worth braving the journey as it is some of the most picturesque scenery in the world. The opening credits of Big Little Lies shows just a glimpse of what it is like driving over the Bixby Creek Bridge. Day 6-Capitola City Beach, Ragged Point and Morro Bay Capitola City Beach: We headed back north to the northern end of Monterey Bay to the Capitola City Beach. This a small urban beach known for the bright, colored hotel rooms built right on the sand that offer a beautiful backdrop to the beach. There are several shops and restaurants along the Esplanade right by the beach. We ate at the Margaritaville restaurant that sits right on the beach looking out at the ocean and the colorful buildings. Ragged Point: We then headed back southbound on PCH and drove along the Big Sur coastline again (once is not enough!) until we got to the south end of Big Sur. There we pulled off at the PIedras Blancas Elephant Seal Rookery which is home to more than 7,000 Northern Elephant Seals which are the second largest seals in existence. You can see the stats on the picture above! Morro Bay: Next stop...Morro Bay! Morro Bay is a quaint little village right off the PCH. It is known for a large volcanic mound at the end of Morro State Beach called...what else...Morro Rock. Morro Rock is 576 feet tall and is the dominating feature of the town. There are several eateries along the harbor if you want to make this a lunch stop on your road trip! Day 7-San Luis Obispo After Morro Bay we headed to San Luis Obispo (or SLO as the locals call it) to crash for the night. We stayed in a charming family owned hotel called the Apple Farm Inn (www.applefarm.com). The Inn has 106 unique and charming rooms and is centrally located for easy access to SLO's many sights. After we dropped off our bags, we headed over to Avila Beach to relax from our travels and catch a few rays. That night we strolled along the bustling Higuera Street to check out the shops. I made several purchases at an adorable store called The Junkgirls (www.junkgirls.com) which was filled with unique and handcrafted gift and decor items. I highly recommend a stop here! Off Higuera Street is the infamous Bubblegum Alley where pieces of chewed gum cover the walls (see pic below). Gross or cool? Only you can decide. Other sites in SLO we didn't get a chance to check out are various wineries, the Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa (a 1700s Spanish mission with a museum), the Cal Poly San Luis Obispo campus, and of course nearby beaches and hiking trails. SLO has a very cool vibe and I wish we could have spent a little more time checking it out! Day 8-Solvang and Santa Barbara Solvang: After a restful night sleep at the charming Apple Farm Inn, we hit the road to head to a spot a little inland from the PCH. Ann had done some research and suggested we check out Solvang, a small city in the Santa Ynez Valley known for its Danish architecture and wineries. We are so glad we took this side trip! Solvang, which is Danish for "sunny fields", is an adorable destination known as the "Danish Capital of the World". You may recognize the name as it has been featured or mentioned in several different TV shows or movies. Most notably it was the setting for the movie Sideways starring Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church as two men traveling through the Santa Barbara wine country. They stay at the Hitching Post so we had to snag a picture of that landmark! You feel as if you have been transported to a European village as soon as you enter the Main Street that goes through the middle of town. You can take a leisurely stroll down Main Street and take in all of the shops that fill every nook and cranny of the buildings lining the street. Of course you can't leave Solvang without trying some of the delicious danishes that can be purchased at any of authentic Danish bakeries in the area. We also hit the Sunstone Winery, a Santa Ynez Valley winery, on our way out of town. What a great day...Solvang was definitely one of my favorite stops on this trip! Santa Barbara: Santa Barbara is a short 45 minute drive from Solvang and where we planned to stop for the night. We stayed at The Eagle Inn ( www.theeagleinn.com ) and I highly recommend it. It has a perfect central location and a delicious free breakfast in the morning. After checking in we strolled along the harbor and checked out the city. Santa Barbara has a great vibe and is a place I would even consider living! The lively downtown features an outdoor shopping area that runs along State Street with tiled courtyards, fountains, chain retailers and small boutiques. Artwork is sprinkled around the town including bronze statues and wall murals. There are several hip cafes and outdoor restaurants, breweries and wine bars. We ate at a brewery called The Cruisery located at 501 State Street, Santa Barbara, CA ( www.thecruisery.com ) which gets its name from "Brewery + Beach Cruiser = Cruisery". The Cruisery has an awesome outdoor eating space to provide for entertaining people watching in the historic downtown area while we relaxed with good food and drinks. After dinner we took in more sites and caught a beautiful sunset over the harbor to cap off an incredible day! Day 9-Ojai and Santa Monica Ojai: Ann suggested we take another detour off of the PCH to check out Ojai (pronounced "OH-hi") which is a small city in Ventura County located in the valley of the Topatopa Mountains. Ojai sits in one of the few east/west valleys so the early morning sunrise fills the valley with sunshine and the late sunsets create a "Pink Moment" painting the surrounding peaks in rosy hues. There is a strong Bohemian vibe to the city and spirituality is a big part of the culture. Apparently the valley lies in a geomagnetic vortex zone where energy fields arise from deep within the earth's core and visitors come to visit the many wellness retreats and meditation centers. The restaurants and cafes in Ojai are all locally owned and serve artisan food using local organic produce. The views driving into the valley were stunning. We parked at the head of a hiking trail that took us up above the city looking down into the valley. (SIDE STORY: I didn't see the sign advising not to leave ANY valuables in the car due to high theft and left my purse in the car. When Ann mentioned the sign I freaked out and rushed to get back to the car so I didn't fully enjoy the hike and the beautiful views. So, travel tip...make sure to read all warning signs and take any valuables with you if you hike so you can leisurely enjoy the beauty surrounding you!). After the hike and heart-racing return to the car, we stopped in town to have a quick drink at the Topa Topa Brewery. I had a hard Kombucha which was very tasty and made me feel a little healthy while drinking. Santa Monica: Feeling calm and restored after our visit to Ojai, we headed to Santa Monica where we planned to stay for our last night before flying out of LAX the next day. In all honesty, Santa Monica didn't feel particularly relaxing or safe. We walked around and checked out the famous (or infamous) Santa Monica Pier. It felt like something we had to do, but it wasn't really our scene. Lots of typical boardwalk food and the traditional boardwalk rides and games. We came, we saw and we quickly left. From there we walked over to the Third Street Promenade which is a three block car-free, open air shopping area. We strolled up and down the street and checked out the Santa Monica Place mall located at the south end of the Third Street Promenade. While it was nice enough, there is nothing especially noteworthy or unique about this area. We were getting travel weary from our epic 10-day long journey, so we returned to the hotel room to rest up for our long journey home the next day. The next morning we got up early to walk along the ocean and it became clear why so many people look fit and healthy in California. The beach volleyball courts were already packed, the boardwalk was filled with runners, walkers and roller bladers, various exercises classes were being held up and down the boardwalk and beach including HIIT and Spin classes. It would be so awesome to take a spin class on the beach looking out at the Pacific Ocean! New experience for my bucket list. Day 10-Hollywood, Beverly Hills/Rodeo Drive and HOME! After our early morning walk in Santa Monica, we jumped in the car and drove towards LA. Even though I lived in San Diego for several years and frequently took day trips to LA and surrounding areas, I had NEVER seen the Hollywood sign in person so that was on my agenda. We first went to the most popular viewing spot in Griffith Park. Griffith Park is one of the nation's largest urban green spaces (5 times the size of New York's Central Park!). There are several hiking trails up to the Griffith Observatory that has a great view of the Hollywood sign. You can also drive up to the Observatory, but this spot is EXTREMELY crowded and parking is difficult if not impossible. Since we had limited time and were not prepared to hike, we needed to find an alternative viewing spot. With the help of Google and Ann's stellar research, we found that there is a lesser known viewing spot from Lake Hollywood Park. To get there you drive through a residential neighborhood up a steep, hilly road. You will know once you get there because although not the most popular, it is still crowded. Snag the first parking spot you can find and walk over to the park for a perfect viewing spot! After all this time I finally can check this sight off my "to do" list. Before leaving California, we stopped at the iconic In-N-Out Burger one last time. Can't visit California without stopping at least once. Delicious and inexpensive! After lunch we drove around Beverly HIlls and stopped to walk on Rodeo Drive. The 90210 zip code has a reputation for a reason. The streets are beautiful and the homes are amazing. Rodeo Drive is crazy and it kept bringing up "Pretty Woman" vibes for me. I wanted to go into a shop and say "Big mistake! Big! Huge!", but unfortunately wasn't planning to go in and drop a load of cash shopping. Since shopping on Rodeo Drive wasn't in our budget, we wrapped up our sightseeing and headed to the airport to catch our flight home. CONCLUSION This was an amazing journey that cannot be completely captured by words and pictures. However, I hope that by sharing some highlights from our trip you will be inspired to plan your own California Coast road trip. I felt like I got to do it twice...first in person and then by reliving it when creating this blog post. Both times I felt awed, overwhelmed and grateful for the experience. If you have had your own amazing California Coast trip, please comment with additional input and ideas for those currently planning their epic adventure! Let's go!

Just a head's up, this post contains affiliate links. If you click on a link and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend places or experiences that I have personally vetted...I got you covered! On a recent weekend trip to Providence, Rhode Island, I thought I was going to have an unexpected need for Bill Murray and his crew of Ghostbusters! I was in town with my daughter Madison and my niece Sophie to attend a bridal shower for another niece, Sarah. We planned to go the night before the shower so I booked a room at the Graduate by Hilton Providence right in the center of the downtown area. The hotel used to be the famous Biltmore Hotel and is on the National Register of Historic Places (it was added in 1977), so I thought it would be cool to experience a little bit of Providence's history. The hotel was originally built in 1922 and has been through many ups and downs (as well as many different owners) over the years. Most recently it was purchased in 2017, renovated and renamed the Graduate Providence as part of a boutique chain of "Graduate" hotels in college towns across the US. Although it has been renamed, the iconic "Biltmore" sign still sits atop the building in a nod to its' historic landmark status. When we arrived, I left Madison and Sophie in the car while I went to check in. I entered the beautifully designed Art Deco lobby to get our room keys. As I said, the new owner has a chain of "Graduate" hotels in various college towns that pay homage to the history of the local colleges and universities and celebrate the famous students from the nearby schools. The room keys are designed as the Student IDs of these celebrity students. We got three "graduate" keys: David Byrne (of the Talking Heads) who went to the Rhode Island School of Design during the 1970-71 term; Kara Walker (an American contemporary artist) who got her MFA from the Rhode Island School of Design in 1994; and Andre Leon Talley (an American fashion journalist and former creative director and American editor-at-large of Vogue magazine) who got his Masters of Art degree from Brown University in 1972. After checking in, I went out to grab Madison and Sophie and our bags. As we entered the beautifully appointed lobby, Madison immediately said "This hotel reminds me of one in American Horror Story! I swear this place is haunted!". Sophie and I nervously laughed off her premonition and proceeded to admire the exquisite decor and interesting architecture. When we got to our room, Madison Googled the hotel on her phone and exclaimed "OMG! It IS haunted!". She then filled us in on the spooky details of the hotel's history. The construction of the hotel in 1922 was financed by Johan Leisse Weisskopf, who was a rumored Satanist. He apparently wanted to create a location where he could educate others on the basics of Satanism. At his instruction, the hotel was built with unusual features such as chicken coops on the rooftop which were rumored to keep chickens to be used for sacrifices in Satanic ceremonies. (However, some say these coops were installed to keep chickens and ducks to offer diners fresh, local fare at the prestigious hotel.) He also dug hot springs in the basement supposedly for purification ceremonies. Additionally, during the Prohibition Era, the Biltmore's basement operated as a speakeasy frequented by mobsters and several related murders occurred during that time. This sordid history has given the hotel a reputation as a haunted establishment. Ghost hunters have used advanced equipment to record high levels of paranormal activity at the hotel. Various hotel guests over the years have reported mysterious happenings such as seeing ghostly apparitions in the hallways, unexplained doors slamming and hearing loud parties with clinking glasses and laughing with no actual source. One of the main ghosts reported to occupy the hotel is a financier who lost all of his money in the stock market crash of 1929. He was staying in a room at the Biltmore on the 14th floor when he received the devastating news and was so distraught he threw himself out of the window. Guests of the hotel have reported seeing someone fall past their window on lower floors but there is no body when they look out the window to check. If you google "Biltmore Providence Haunted" you can find many other recounts of guest's spooky experiences while staying at the hotel. True to Madison's intuition, the hotel was named "America's Most Haunted Hotel" in 2000. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it), we did not experience any supernatural occurrences during our stay. What we did experience was a very beautiful hotel with a unique theme and interesting decor. The rooms continued the local "graduate" theme with a mural of black and white photos of famous students of the nearby schools. The sitting room had a "library" feel keeping with the college vibe. The titles of the books on the painted wall were creative and entertaining. Although we didn't have a lot of time to explore other parts of Providence on this trip, the hotel had a great central location close to many of the attractions in the area. I would definitely stay at the Graduate Providence again when I return to Rhode Island to explore Providence and nearby Newport (hopefully soon!). If you are looking for the full on ghoulish experience, it would be a GREAT place to stay for a creepy Halloween getaway! Book your own stay here. Maybe you will get to meet some of the hotel's more "permanent" guests...if you're lucky!